Because Nothing is Perfect
by Capricieux
Summary: Most people aren't the same as they were at 10 years old. People change. They grow up. Is it possible to re-enter the world you abandoned when you were 10 after 6 years? What are you supposed to say to them? How are you supposed to feel about them? NxM
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! So, I haven't written in forever, and I'm pretty sure this is my 1st GA story, even though I've been reading it forever. I have no idea even how this story's gonna end (if it even does...). But I was reading GAFF and I realized that there are all these stories about how it's all fine and dandy and everyone remembers and is the same as they were when they were 10 years old. I love those stories, don't get me wrong. But if you think about it, a lot changes from when you're 10 to when you're 16. So this is my (lousy) attempt at speculation on this issue. **

**Disclaimer: Yeah, high school students have enough time to draw 20+ volume manga series. We're just that awesome. Tch. Right. I don't own and never will own Gakuen Alice. **

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"_And they would live happily ever after"_

Think about it: Was your life the same in fifth grade as it was as a junior in high school? Probably not. A lot can change in six years. They were only 10 when she left. There are all these stories about how when Mikan comes back to the Academy, everything works out perfectly. Natsume still loves her; she still feels the same, and the like. Granted, what happened to them when they were 10 wasn't exactly forgettable, but six years is a long time. People change. Childhood love doesn't usually continue, especially after such a long separation.

Mikan looked out the window of the car, watching the skyscrapers pass as she was being driven to Alice Academy. She was going back. After six years, six long years of changing schools, constant moving, training her Alices, and finally, _finally_, achieving their goal. The Elementary School Principal and all of his clones had been successfully eliminated; the principal himself was killed when she was fourteen. It only took the Academy a few months to fill the position and remove his supporters, but it had taken two years for things to calm down before Yuka decided it was safe for Mikan to return.

What would it be like? Would the Academy have changed? What do you say to people after leaving for six years? _"Well, I didn't know my mom and I felt bad about that, and the Principal wanted to kill me so I hightailed it out of this place, leaving all of you to fight for me instead. So what's up? Ya' miss me?"_ Yeah, that would go over real smooth. Mikan barely remembered half of her class. She remembered that her seniors Tsubasa and Misaki would have graduated by now, if they had survived the war. She shuddered at the new question in her mind. _Who was still even alive at the Academy?_ Was Hotaru, her former best friend, or Ruka, the sweet little boy who had confessed to her minutes before she left the Academy? Or that little boy, Youichi? Or even the rest of her class? Was Natsume?

Natsume. The boy with the red eyes, who posessed the 4th type of Alice. Her mother's best friend's son. The boy who wanted to run away with her, even though they weren't even old enough to start middle school yet. Ruka's best friend.

How do you feel about someone who you loved six years ago, and haven't seen since? Someone you promised you'd wait for, were so certain you were in love with, even though you were 10 and had barely an inkling of what love was? Someone whose Alice stone you still wear around your neck every day because you don't have the heart to throw it away, or store it with the others you've collected with your own Alice? How do you feel about someone like that, especially if you have no idea whether they're even still _breathing_ or not? How should he feel about you? People change; you sure did. You don't even know if you even still have feelings for him, or if he's just another childhood friend from your darker past. You'd like to think you do; it would be such an adorable love story. But you're not as naïve as you once were. You know that it never works out exactly how it does in fairytales-they're called fairytales for a reason, after all.

"So do you think you're all set?" Mikan took a deep breath, and then nodded; playing with the edge of the skirt from the new high school uniform she was now wearing. Principal Yukihara handed her a sheet of paper. "Here's your schedule, your dorm room number's also on there. Judging by your grades from the past few years and what I've seen of your Alices, I'd say you're about a three-star. I'll give Yuka a call to let her know everything's all right, okay? And let me know if you need anything, Mikan." Mikan smiled at her uncle gratefully.

"Thank you. Should I head to class now, or should I go to my room first…?" Mikan trailed off.

"I've arranged for the junior class president to meet you here and give you a quick tour of the high school area, and your bags are being taken to your room." At that moment, there was a knock on the door. "Enter", Yukihara called. A tall boy with caramel-colored hair and innocent, boyish features stepped into the room, looking a bit flustered.

"P-Principal, I'm here to help the new student you said we'd be having…?"

"Yes, thank you Tobita. However, it seems I need to correct what I had said previously. You'll be showing a returning student around, not a new student. I think you may remember her." Mikan stood up, turning to face the boy.

Yuu Tobita looked at the girl who now stood facing him. She was petite, with pale skin, and had long, straight auburn hair with thick, straight-cut bangs and choppy angles framing the rest of her face. She didn't seem very familiar until he noticed her eyes, along with what she was wearing around her neck. Her eyes were wide and chocolate-colored, and gave the impression of innocence, even though hardship could be clearly seen in them. She wore a small silver chain with an Alice Stone attached to it. However, what was really noticeable about the Alice Stone was its color; a bright, crimson red. Only one person possessed an Alice Stone of that color, and he wouldn't have given it to anyone. Except that girl, the one from Elementary School; the one that seemed to act as a catalyst for all of the events surrounding the Alice War. What was her name? No one had spoken it for years now, what with everyone just trying forget what happened and move on. Sakura…Mikan?

"S-Sakura-san?" Mikan smiled, finally recognizing the boy. _Some things never change._

"Iinchou? You're still class prez, huh?" Yuu grinned sheepishly. Yukihara smiled and stood up to hold the door for the two as they walked out.

"Long time no see, Sakura-san! How've you been?" Yuu fidgeted awkwardly as they walked down the hallway away from the Principal's office. Mikan worried in her head. Again, what to say? She could easily see he didn't really know what to do either. How do you talk to someone you've had no contact with in six years? Especially after so much had changed, and you were pretty much the main cause of it?

"…I've been alright. It was really hectic most of the time and we moved a lot. I'm sure it wasn't a cakewalk here either, with the Elementary School Principal and the fighting…" Mikan trailed off again, feeling as uncomfortable as Yuu looked. _Crap. Less than a minute into the conversation and_ _you've already managed to bring up the worst topic possible. Props to you, Mikan. Props. To. You. _

"Aandd now it's awkward. Sorry, Tobita-kun. I shouldn't have brought it up." Yuu raised his eyebrows for a second.

"Wow, Sakura-san, you've really changed. Tobita-kun? Acknowledging awkward situations?" He smiled, trying to make a joke, but stopped when he saw Mikan's expression.

"I haven't. I just grew up, finally. I learned to shut up and take what I get." The bitterness and nostalgia in her voice continued, but this time it was overlapped by apology. "I know it was selfish and troublesome for me to leave, and I'm sorry I started all of it. Really. But I made my decision and I can't change it now, nor can I change my decision to come back here. I know I caused a lot of strife and grief for everyone, and I feel terrible about it." Yuu frowned. She was really taking this hard.

"Mikan-chan -Can I call you Mikan-Chan? I remember everyone used to call you that- but anyway, we all knew why you left. What's done is done. I don't blame you for what happened. If you like, I can tell you what's been going on here recently." Mikan smiled, finally.

"I'd like that."

Mikan sat on her bed, taking everything in after Iinchou had finished his tour and shown her to her dorm. According to Iinchou, a lot of rebuilding was being done to repair the damages of the war. Classes had attempted to remain in session throughout it, but with all the teachers and students choosing sides, it was hard to do so. Many of the buildings had been destroyed, so the Academy was spending all of their spare time catching up on grade requirements and rebuilding what had been lost. They were also reconsidering many of the school policies and Alice classification system, but so far, not much had significantly changed other than the fact that the Dangerous Ability Class had been disbanded.

And then there were the people that had been lost. _So many people. _And it was largely her fault. Both sides had taken a heavy toll, and there were plans being drawn up for a memorial to commemorate what had happened there. Iinchou had said nothing, however, of who had been lost that they knew. She was scared to find out. The fact that so many people had died because of her was enough, if she knew their names it would be even worse.

_Am I going to be able to handle this?_

She looked at the clock on her bedside table. 10:04 AM. She had eleven minutes to grab her stuff and head to class. Class. With everyone. Everyone she hadn't seen in six years. Where do you start? Should you even bother trying to explain yourself? Should you apologize? Should you act like you don't remember anything?

_Shut up, Mikan. You're going to have to deal with it eventually. _

She took a deep breath, picked up her things, and headed out the door.

_Some things may never change, but most things always do._

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**So how was it? Do I dare continue? It'll probably end up being a happy ending (I HATE tradgedies-they make me cry.), if thats like, the deciding factor or something. Please let me know what you think! And I promise more NxM in future Chapters!**

**Love (albiet fickle),**

**Capricieux**


	2. Author's Note

**Okay, so I feel like a HUGE jerk doing this, but I don't think I can continue this story, after all that's happened in recent chapters of the manga; what with Yuka dying and Mikan leaving (where did she go, anyway?) and them saying pretty much NADA about Natsume, I just think the whole idea for this story is somewhat of a moot point. I'm really sorry! Especially because I never ever finish anything. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, and I'm not going to promise anything new yet (I feel like I won't follow through:( ) but I'm sorry! :(**

**Ever fickle,**

**Capricieux~**


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